Thursday, February 28, 2013


Un(der)employment is not for the feint of heart. You have to remind yourself constantly to maintain your focus, stay objective, and be as positive as the situation warrants. But in the face of all the negativity there are some often overlooked perks.

You can nap whenever and where ever you want to. I know I do. Face down on the couch? You betcha. In my office chair? How uncomfortable, but doable. Clearly my bed is always available. So napping will always be at the top of my list.

You can eat whatever you want at any time you remember you're suppose to eat. The only people who eat three meals a day are the ones who have schedules to keep. Gone are the days of any regular eating habits. Spent all morning in a good wallow? Sounds like you should eat only dinner because, too late, its nine at night somehow. And also, dinner is pretzels. Eat oatmeal, five times, in one day. Bowl of ice cream at two in the afternoon. A bottle of red wine over the course of a day. Your options are endless and no one can judge you. Because everyone else is at work.

Bathing is a thing you should do only if there's someone to impress. I'm cutting back on my laundry by just a ton and saving on soap. Also, the guy down at the Walgreen's does not care what funk I'm bringing into the store with me at five minutes till close. He just wants to sell me more sour gummy worms (which are for dinner, as noted above).

You can watch anything you want on tv/youtube/Netflix/Hulu. I have seen every episode of Say Yes to the Dress which is available on Netflix. I'm not entirely sure yet if this is a perk, but I have done it.

You can pretend to shop online. This is such a fun game, I can't even tell you how often I do it. After sending out your mandatory two applications a day, reward yourself by going on to some ridiculous website. I particularly love faux vintage clothing retailers where the starting price of a tshirt is about $30. Fill an entire shopping cart with things you would like to own, then frantically click out of the website. Repeat with accessories and shoes as you like.

You can start a blog. Jury's still out on how well that's going.

You can play video games. All the video games. There are so many of them! Once you do the things you know you have to (apply to jobs, brush your teeth, apply to jobs, something else I forget) its like you've got an entire other 12 hours to fill of your day, because obviously regular sleeping is optional now with all these naps you can take. Personally I've been engaged in replaying all of Lego Harry Potter and getting 100% completion which would be shockingly time consuming if I had other concerns in my life.

You can internet. Perhaps the previous remark on watching tv and whatnot falls under this category, but I feel like interneting is a whole other experience. For example: I was on buzzfeed for four hours today. Then I went on foodgawker for an additional two. There is no end to the riches of interneting.

Un(der)employment sucks. Its emotionally draining and feels like a full time job all on its own, constantly tweaking my resume and writing dozens of cover letters. But I'm coming around to embracing that I also have to take some time to wallow. Otherwise, I will burn myself out on the emotional highs and lows of the situation.


  1. I can lend you Lego Lord of the Rings, it'll eat up 2,159% more time than Lego Harry Potter.

  2. I would not say no to that, my dear sir.